As it’s Saturday, I’ve come to reflect on all the things that happened this week… and I found a common factor on the past 7 days.
I’ve been lonely. I felt lonely.
Because of this realization, I went on Google to search for handy-dandy quotes on the subject… but more on that later.
One would equate loneliness to something negative. Most people’s thoughts of being lonely would turn to a sad-slash-depressing notion. I thought of that, too, at first. It saddened me a lot that I felt this way. Let me explain…
See, this week was my university’s annual intramural. The week was filled with activities – from a battle of the bands type of event to a presentation of research papers to various sporting competitions. Each day was filled to the brim with activities for students and university personnel to take part in. (And it was a requirement to attend at least one event in the morning and another one in the afternoon.)
On these intramural days, most, if not all, students use this time to be with their friends and go to whatever event they want. This would’ve been the case for me too but my usual bunch of friends, or as Filipinos would call it “barkada”, had to prioritize other things.
So, that’s why i felt lonely. It is a petty reason, I admit. Although I still had friends (from the non-usual bunch. LOL) accompanying me, there were still moments of stillness. It felt like, despite having them around, I was still alone. (It’s not their fault, though. They are great people! I wouldn’t be with them/be in their company if they weren’t.)
So. Google. I read a number of quotes but the one that got to me had a different message than what I initially thought.
“Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. And intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.”
I, then, realized that loneliness can be a good thing and not necessarily sad. Loneliness can help us grow. Help us be more self-dependent. It’s a good thing to feel lonely at times because it can push us to get to know ourselves better and with that, mould ourselves into the best persons we can be. As my ever wise sister always tells me, “At the end of the day, the only person you can lean on and count on is yourself.”
Not that I like feeling lonely or anything… but when the feeling does come, i should welcome it (not be sad!) and take the time to just be with myself and my thoughts. Get to know me a little bit more and grow from it. Nothing bad with that.